Ruth Niral, the first lady of my fanfiction collection. She appears in many guises but remains the Sith Warrior of the Star Wars: The Old Republic canon. In every continuity she is a light side Sith, at first. In every continuity she meets and cares for Imperial Agent Wynston. In every continuity she falls in love with and marries Malavai Quinn. And in every continuity, she bears his son after she kicks him out of her life.
Ruth Means Compassion was one of my first two novels, the other being No Death, Only Wrath. They are both about Sith Warriors married to Malavai Quinn, but their tone and storyline are wildly different.
Ruth Means Compassion follows three timelines within Ruth’s life, corresponding to the dictionary definition of “ruth”: compassion, grief, and remorse. It is a bitter and lasting romance. It is a fall from grace, and an intervention with a challenge to do better.
In the past they had been fierce and frantic every time, she because she was nineteen and in love for the first time, he because, she could only imagine, he already knew it would have to end.
Now they were cautious, deliberate, unsure of the familiar roads. There
were new scars, new hesitations, a thousand changes, each muscle and
curve slightly different from what they remembered. They could navigate,
though, slowly, carefully. They had learned patience.Not that that could make her forget the other half of her feelings. She took a long moment, once they were finished, just to hold him; and then she gave in to her doubts. “It was good?” she whispered.
“Yes,” he said. He stroked her sides, nuzzled her hair. “Yes.”
“I’m glad. Now get out.”
He froze. “What?”
She sat up and tugged a corner of the sheet up to cover herself. “Get out. I won’t sleep while you’re here.”
“Ruth…”
“I like you. I want you. I don’t trust you.” She decided against saying
something about how he had no right to complain about surprise changes in terms. “Don’t make me make this an order. Just go, sleep elsewhere, and we’ll talk later.”He looked her in the eye. “No.”
She had no idea how to react to that.
“I won’t leave you again,” he said.
Malavai, she didn’t say. I am not safe with you, she didn’t say. If I fall asleep with you here I don’t know what I’ll wake up to, and most importantly if I let you stay you’ll see how completely, how hopelessly, how foolishly I love you, even after all this time, even after everything. If you stay I am lost, and I am terrified of what you will do when you realize
that. She didn’t say.He touched her hand, very gently, and looked up at her. “I won’t leave you again,” he repeated.
She tried to look calm while she lay back down and allowed him to gather her in his arms. “Stay, then.” She hoped he couldn’t feel her shaking.
Once, she knew, he would have given a speech. He would have laid out
policy, sought official guidance, and offered extravagant reassurances that might or might not be outright lies. This time, though, he just pulled her close. The gradual calming of his heartbeat lulled her to sleep.
RMC features Jedi Knight Larr Gith and Imperial Agent Wynston, both Light Side operatives with sometimes congruent goals. They’re doing their best.
RMC has been published in a few places, including an original draft on the SWTOR forums. The updated version is on AO3 and in PDF form.
Leave a Reply